


I Hate You

by Nonconogram



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Manipulation, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, dubcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:28:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5743855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonconogram/pseuds/Nonconogram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is never black and white; it’s grey, and it’s red. For some, it is more gentle than violent, but for others it’s a chaotic fight: for control, for attention, for sex. It doesn’t matter what the fight is, because for some, the fight is the very bedrock of their love. They fight like others share tender embraces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a pretty dark take on romance. It won't quite delve into rape, but the entire thing is lacking real consent. There will be sex scenes (if I get that far...).  
> Also, this isn't really linked to the actual story of Durarara!!, and they're older than they are in the show. Kida's 19, which would make Izaya about 27.

Love is never black and white; it’s grey, and it’s red. For some, it is more gentle than violent, but for others it’s a chaotic fight: for control, for attention, for sex. It doesn’t matter what the fight is, because for some, the fight is the very bedrock of their love. They fight like others share tender embraces.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Kida growled at his older lover. The anger was a quiet yet burning anger.

Izaya leaned against a wall, his posture casual, yet tense. “Fine. When you’re done with your tantrum feel free to watch some TV.”

“How about you take that stick out of your arse and go fuck yourself with it?”

“Why? In an hour tops you’ll be begging me to fuck you.”

 “I prefer the 30” inches on your wall to the two inches in your pants.”

“So you’re pretty much just a whore then?” Izaya asked flatly.

“Sure. That’s exactly what I’m getting out.” Kida bit out, his fingers cutting into the palms of his clenched hands.

Izaya got his wallet from his pocket and pulled out Y16,000 in various notes and held it out to Kida. “How much will this get me then?”

Kida glowered, but stood and snatched the money. “For that much you can watch my arse as I walk away.”

“You’re really going to keep that?”

“As if you’d miss it.”

Izaya sighed and put his wallet away, minus the Y16,000.

Kida grinned and pocketed the cash. Seeing Kida’s outward mood had improved Izaya sat on his couch and motioned for Kida to join him. After a moment’s hesitation, and a flicker of a dark look in his eyes, Kida sat. Izaya flicked through a few channels, then, without hesitation Kida stood up and chose a DVD.

“I suppose this isn’t a democracy then?” Izaya asked sarcastically.

“Sure it is. The people’s republic of my way or the highway.”

“I don’t know that country. What continent is it on?”

“Literally wherever I am.”

 “Seems as fair as any of your rules.”

“Fair’s for maiden’s in castles. I’m sexy.”

“Sexy rules huh?”

“Mhmm. Sexy and money. That’s where you come in: the money part.”

Izaya silently shook his head as the movie started. “Oh god. Not this crap again.”

“Shut up, you love it.”

“Y16,000 and trashy anime movies. I’d better be getting lucky tonight.”

“Go buy a lottery ticket if you’re relying on luck.”

“I’ve already bought you. How much do I need to buy?”

For a moment Kida was static. His eyes were directed at the TV, but they were unfocused. Then he blinked and put a finger to his lips. “Hmm. Well, since you’re offering and all, I’d love a new TV for my place. That way I wouldn’t have to keep hanging around this whore house.”

“It’s hardly a whore house. You’re the only one getting paid for sex around here.”

“I really just meant that you look like a pimp.”

“If you don’t want people making whore jokes at your expense then you shouldn’t take money for sex.”

“If you don’t want to have to pay to have sex maybe you should grew a soul.”

Izaya laughed, then it petered out in a distinctly unhumourous way. “I don’t need a soul. I own yours.”

Kida was tense for a moment, then he focused on the movie.

Izaya smirked, but let the conversation slide. He draped an arm over Kida’s shoulder in a parody of affection, and Kida leaned against him in response.

_I hate you._


	2. Chapter 2

Kida rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, just barely lit by the orange glow of the rising sun. To his side Izaya lay, still asleep. After a moment of lying motionless Kida reached out for his phone to check the time and found two messages. He sat up and glanced back at Izaya. He hadn’t moved, but that didn’t mean he was still asleep. There was nothing about that man Kida trusted, and even if the messages were completely innocent, he still didn’t want Izaya to read them.

Kida left the room quietly, wincing at the click of the door shutting. He tiptoed over to the lounge and flopped onto it, facing so that he could still see the bedroom door. Finally satisfied that he was safe to read the texts without Izaya appearing behind him, Kida opened the texts.

_Time: 23:07_

_From: Mikado Ryugamine_

_Hey, are you still coming tomorrow??_

Kida cringed. Oops. He’d forgotten he’d agreed to meet up with Mikado and Anri tomorrow. Which was now today. He had plenty of time still, but he felt bad for forgetting. Putting that aside for now he opened the second text.

_Time: 03:24_

_From: Unknown number_

_Are you still screening my calls Kida?_

Kida read the text twice before deleting it. He sighed and put his phone face down on the coffee table. He still had a few hours until he’d need to go home, get ready, and then meet up with Mikado and Anri. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, thinking he’d watch crap TV until he had to go. It was too early to wander off home, plus there was nothing to do at his place.

Kida woke suddenly when Izaya moved his legs to sit next to him on the couch. Kida yawned and stretched unnecessarily dramatically as he sat up. The room was much brighter than it had been when Kida had accidently fallen asleep.

“Good morning.” Izaya said, his voice teasing.

“Morning.” Kida mumbled then reached for his phone He hesitated, frowning at his phone for a moment. He realised it was now screen up, but he picked it up without comment. Izaya only half-heartedly covers his tracks, and making some big deal about it only egged him on.

_12:05_

Kida narrowed his eyes at the clock on his phone.

_12:05_

He turned off the phone light, then back on.

_12:06_

“Ah shit.”

“Something wrong?”

Kida stood up, stretching his back. “I was supposed to meet some friends at midday.” Kida rummaged through the apartment for his clothes. He was comfortable enough to wander Izaya’s apartment in his boxers, but he couldn’t wander the city streets showing so much skin. Plus even Mikado was bound to notice something if Kida showed up closer to naked than to being dressed.

_Bzzt. Bzzt._

Izaya glanced at Kida’s phone and saw Mikado’s name light up. He pursed his lips and picked up the phone, holding it out so that Kida could see it.

Kida looked over and saw Izaya holding his phone. He walked over, pulling his shirt down as he went. He snatched the phone from Izaya’s loose grasp and scowled at the words ‘missed call’. “Gee. Thanks for telling me I had a phone call.”

“You’re welcome. Are you staying here tonight?”

Kida walked over to where his jumper lay in a heap, unfortunately right in front of Izaya. “Well, I was going to spend the night with a narcissistic psychopath who ruined my life at one point, but then I thought, maybe I should just stay home and not see you again.”

“I’ll have dinner when you get here then.”

“Whatever. I’m already late for my appointment with actual humans.”

The sound of Izaya’s laugh followed Kida as he shut the door. He shuddered as he walked away.

_What am I doing?_

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've finally updated this!

_Time: 2:27_

_From: Satan_

_How are Mikado and Anri?_

Kida opened the text from Izaya, rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket without replying. “I still think it’s unfair making me pay just because I was a little late.”

“You were over an hour late. And you won’t even tell us why.”

“What! I did tell you.”

Mikado rolled his eyes. “Neither of us believe that story.”

Anri looked doubtful, though whether that was because she was wordlessly agreeing with Mikado, or whether it was because she was trying to avoid taking sides, Kida wasn’t sure.

“I am heartbroken at your lack of trust in me. What’s so farfetched about a young super model slash pop star whose car broke down and her jerk boyfriend wouldn’t come help her so I had to fix her car for her and in return she insisted on giving me her number and a certain other few rewards for my generosity?”

“Literally all of it. You don’t even know how to fix a car.”

“A mechanic slash super model taught me when I went on a summer long trip with her last year.”

Mikado sighed. “Either way, you were late. You’re still buying all of our lunches.”

“I-I don’t mind paying.” Anri said in her usual quiet voice.

Kida sat up straight. “Anri! How could you? Mikado’s direct challenge to my integrity is nothing to your doubt of my chivalry! I could never let a beautiful woman buy her own lunch.”

“What about an ugly woman?” Mikado retorted.

Kida was about to jokingly accuse Mikado of saying that Anri was ugly when his phone buzzed, distracting him. He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the name; Satan.

Mikado raised an eyebrow. “Your phone’s been buzzing since you got here.”

Kida hummed in response. “Alas, my time with you, glorious as it was, must be cut brief.” He pulled out some of the money he’d gotten from Izaya and tossed it to the table. “That should cover it, even if you want desert later.”

Mikado picked up the notes and looked at them suspiciously. He actually went so far as to check they weren’t counterfeit. “Where did you get all this money to part with without a fight?”

“A man must have his secrets, Mi-ka-do!” Kida called, halfway out the café.

As soon as he was out of view of his friends he answered his phone. It had rung out twice, but Izaya called back straight away both times.

“What?” Kida snapped, his voice flat.

Izaya laughed, the sound turning crackly through the phone. “So mean! Is that any way to answer the phone to your lover?”

Kida barked out a laugh. “Lover? You’ve really misheard all those times I said ‘I hate you’.”

“Actions speak louder than words, Kida. And your actions are very loud.” His tone was lewd and mocking.

Kida hung up and put his phone on Do Not Disturb. Anything Izaya had to say wasn’t worth hearing anyway. Although, that many phone calls were worrying. He might just be bored. Kida thought that over for almost a second before deciding Izaya being bored was probably the worst case scenario, not something to hope for.

Kida began walking to Izaya’s apartment. His home was closer, and the last thing he wanted was to see Izaya. Yet here he was, walking to Izaya’s place. A few minutes into the walk he turned Do Not Disturb off and sighed at the text spam. There was one message from Anri which just read ‘ _I hope youre ok._ ’ The other 32 messages were from Izaya. After about ten messages they turned into single emojis.

_This is just sad. Get a life._

Kida replied to the messages. Izaya’s response came fast.

_I’d rather take yours~_

Kida stopped walking and read the message a few times over. Was it just him or did that message read like a light-hearted death threat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written smut in I don't even know how long, so we'll see how the next chapter goes. I'll try.

**Author's Note:**

> First, sorry about any mistakes. I wrote this in one go after midnight, then edited at about 1am. In short, this isn't brilliantly written. Hope you enjoyed it anyway :D  
> Obviously this is just the first chapter, but a quick warning about me - I am NOT reliable with fanfics. I start them, then get bored and don't write anymore. So, enjoy this, but don't rely on updates because I am not a reliable author.  
> I am so sorry for anyone waiting on my Izaya x Mikado story update. I...may get to that? One day. Maybe? I'll try. Kind of. Also, just a reminder, I am not reliable with updates.


End file.
